How to impress your life partner?

For a couple or family, who live in America, social interaction is quite occasional.  Husbands mostly go to work. Therefore, they do not get as bored as women at home do. Non-working women or full time moms get really lonely after a while. Trust me, life in America is not at all similar like back at home. In such times, husband and wife become sole entertainers for each other, while 'sharing life and crossing the hurdles of life'.

Women are smart and sensitive. It is not hard for a husband to understand wife, who puts an effort into the relationship. Being a woman I can understand a wife’s perspective better so I collected some tips to help my family, friends, and readers. I guess some of these can be used for husbands as well.  Take some of your precious time out for her and use these easy tips if you want to genuinely impress her:

1.People are attracted to confidence/success/positivity: Market yourself, if not your life partner who else would you impress, right? So, don’t be shy…..to boast about your skills and achievements either from childhood or your work. Remember, everybody likes to hear a story. Talk about great (Ex: math) skills you have and how you won people’s praise by ‘XYZ act’.

2.Teach her a skill she is longing to learn: Some women like to learn driving or things that her husband has an expertise at. In America, driving a car is a billion dollar skill for a full-time mom. Unless she knows driving, she feels disabled and depressed because she is dependent on every little thing on her husband. Teaching her to drive a car is definitely a 100% heart winning gift that a husband can give to a wife.

3.Share stories that add to her knowledge: Women like to hear something new; things that they do not indulge in naturally. Tell her interesting stories about politics, sports, your work, etc. Absolutely avoid house politics or sensitive issues.

4.Cook FOR her: Women are vexed of cooking every day. It became such a ‘mandatory monotonous chore that it makes them feel as if they are in an inescapable trap’. Cook something that they might like from your kitchen. This shows that you truly understand that they need a break from daily routine. Cook something that you can make easily without stressing out yourself, after all you too are looking forward for spending good time with her, and you do not want to dose off when its time ;)

5.Cook WITH her: This is a nice time to strengthen or revitalize the bond. Women always appreciate a helping hand.

6.Praise : Not their dress or looks, it is an old way to impress. Praise about the unique qualities they recently developed or how they still look so young. If your wife is full-time mom then she needs more praise, in fact excessive praise.

7.Ask her opinion about the issue you are facing at this point of time in life, ex: generation gap, how to stop aging, articles you read this morning on how to grow muscles, etc.
This shows that you care for her perspective. People are different from each other because they have different set of knowledgeable points. Life is wonderful because of these differences; otherwise it would have been boring. So, enjoy the differences you both have and learn and grow from each other. Husbands do not realize but wife is a best counselor ever. They have the exact suggestion that you have been looking everywhere but forgot that it is right here.

8.Discover her interests: Remember, women have some interesting topics on which they have intense knowledge, and when someone initiates a conversation on that topic they jump up and participate with all the enthusiasm. Use these hints to initiate good conversation next time.

9.Make her laugh: For this ‘sense of humor’ is required. Secret tip for developing sense of humor is- ‘always joke about yourself or inanimate objects only, never joke about the other person.’

These are some tit-bits from my treasure. Hope you enjoyed.

Success and Sense of humor

America is the land of opportunities for people from various cultures.Universal key to success is our personality or attitude. A person with a great aptitude and charming personality is quite impressive. But, the easy way to attract people is our sense of humor.
1. Good sense of humor is when we joke on our self. This is used by professionals and all highly accomplished celebrities. The surroundings we grew up in, have a great influence. People laugh for different things based on their culture. Therefore, we need to be little careful when we are interacting or communicating with different people. Its good to joke on ourselves because others are not a target of our joke and people can laugh without being hurt.

Ex: I am a vegetarian and I teach undergrad Biology courses.
When my students ask me, if they can get partial credit for 'not so correct answer' they wrote in the test. Guess what I answer. I say "I am a vegetarian. I do not munch on your points. Don't worry.You will get the partial credit". All my students seem to have enjoyed this joke.
Ex: I always joke on, how I forget to see the pointer which is right in my hands.
Ex: Most of my jokes are on my Indian accent, such as, I pronounce words 'year' and 'ear' both as EAR, out of habit that doesn't go easily. Therefore, they have to pay attention in my class.
2. Bad sense of humor is quite risky because nobody likes being ridiculed. So, beware.
.when we joke on others,
.respond with a joke when others joke on themselves,
.joking about others culture.
3. Worst sense of humor is when people talk ill about others and make fun of them. No one enjoys this kind of joke except the one who cracked the joke. This is sadism or torture.

How to strengthen relationships?

Strengthen relationships, first and foremost with our own self

Now-a-days our relationships are strained and we realized the need to work on them. Before we work on our relationship with others, first there is a need to strengthen our relationship with our self.  If we have taken care of our self then the relationship with the other person is automatically taken care of. It seems pointless, but it is true. Yes, this should be the first foundation step towards fixing our relationships.

1.  Form a relationship with your own self. For this, we need to know our self. Wondering ‘how will I know myself’ or ‘don’t I know myself’? We knowing our self means being aware of our thoughts.  If we can sense or see our thoughts with our mind’s eye then we can direct them towards positivity. A person, who has self-control on his thoughts, can master any skill; it can be even fixing strenuous relationships, with a boss or in-laws or an old friend.  Know that, we are the creators of our own thoughts. See yourself and every person interacting with you as a pure soul. This minimizes many issues in relationships.
2.  Stop abusing yourself with worry and fear of future: Every one of us has an addiction. For example: fear of future, worry, feeling of unfulfilled desires, negativity, loss of hope, hurting our self with our own memories, alcoholism, etc. These are all our habits/thoughts that are eating us from inside. The only profit from these wasteful thoughts is that we are depleting our energy at a rocket speed. Our body is the temple of the pure soul/ spirit/energy, i.e. I, the soul. All this baggage we dumped on it will wear us down. Gently remove these habits or thoughts one after another with positive thinking such as, “I am a happy, loving and peaceful soul”. 
3. Search for the LOVE inside you to replace the bliss that an addiction or a false relaxing activity is giving. False relaxing activities are: shopping, watching a movie when we are sad, consuming alcohol, smoking, going into past and reliving the moments, chatting with friends, etc. These acts will never cure our pain; they only help us to forget the issue for a while. Because, the issue will not vanish until we resolve it in our mind. We are the best doctor and medicine for our own addictions/stress/hurt. Dig in and search for the abundant treasure of happiness inside you. Remember you are a happy being because you are the creator of your thoughts.We can do this in a millionth of a second and we can land on the planet of happiness, right in our–self, our own MIND. Happy discovering-self.
4.  Work on stabilizing your relationships: Hard to handle relationships and situations fall in place automatically once we have taken care of our self. For example, you have a conflict with your boss, life partner, in-law. How do you resolve these?  …..Continuation in next part…

By Brahma kumaris

Novice can turn dejection into success

Newbie can turn dejection into success

(This article is intended to help newbies but not to downgrade seniors.  Most of the employees welcome a new hire and treat them equal but if the situation is different then, my article is to help them see the situation with clarity. Please convey your opinion through comments. Thanks)

  Every new employee walks into an organization with lot of dreams to achieve great heights of success. A novice may feel dejection from some seniors or people who are established in the firm. Juniors need not lose faith in their ability or sulk upon rejection. It is important to move forward with confidence in such situations.
Then how to rise in the field that is new and is filled with opponents who are not willing to accept new ideas or participation?  
In order to assess the situation, the new employee should step into the shoe of a senior to understand the reason for their in-acceptance.
Tips to turn senior’s dejection into acceptance and achieve success in the new field 
Seniors suppress new guys because they fear losing their power. Then how a new guy can shine in a new field? 
1. First, understand and recognize that seniors are a treasure for the company because of their experience and contribution. You have a lot to learn from their experience and you respect them. Convey to the seniors that you respect them. Initiate a casual conversation and somewhere in the middle of the conversation say, ‘I respect you immensely for the experience you carry and the success you have achieved in this competitive field’. This will ease up the situation.

2. This paves way for you to show your talent. When you get a chance, express ‘what you learned about the organization and show your interest to grow in the field’. Start putting forward your ideas. But, remember to do it very gently so that they will not see this as a threat to their position. 
 3. Present your idea with lot of research that supports it. Show them how your idea is going to work. Always show numbers, for example: how much profit, in how many days- this idea will bring to your organization. This shows that you are seriously interested in helping to bring success to this business. Your interest is in the company success but not in overpowering anybody.

4. Also, show how your idea is unique and how it is going to work for sure.

Psychology based understanding of the situation:
What happens when a new employee joins the organization that is full of experienced professionals? 
 1. Some seniors see this new candidate as a CHANGE and may not welcome his/her ideas.  
 2. Junior feels dejection, loses hope in achieving success in the new field.

Whenever there is a CHANGE, people fear. Fear is not about ‘the results this CHANGE might bring’ but people fear that they might lose ‘what they have, such as: respect, position, their demand, power, money, etc.’
In short, seniors fear losing respect or authority due to the entry of a new recruit. This leads seniors to show dejection and disrespect. Here, the reality is that seniors are in fear of losing their respect so they start to suppress the junior even before the candidate starts to open up. This suppression may impact the novice negatively as there is no encouragement or co-operation. This leads to hurt, losing faith in our own talent, and eventually loss of interest in progress or success in the new field. But, if the new employee can boost her/his self-esteem then it is possible to face the situation in a right way.
What to do to clear the misunderstanding and to achieve success in the new field?
Three step solution:
First, convince people that your goal is to work WITH them and you respect them. This removes their fear but it is only half the battle. Still there is lot to do, to make your dream come true.
Second, communicate clearly that you are interested and capable of taking up new challenges and projects. Remember- they do not know your skills or potential. You know them but they do not know you, right? So, you have to briefly give them few examples about your previous work experience. Express, you are willing to take up challenges. Though they are going to be time consuming and may need lot of effort. Tell them you are prepared and ready for such ventures.
Highlight your skills such as: you are a meticulous worker though you are new to the field, people skills, convincing power, ready to invest time, hardworking, interest to learn new methods in the field, etc.
Third, stop fearing consequences. Proceed with confidence. Think positive. Create positive thoughts without any doubt in your mind. For ex: “I am going to be successful in this field”.  Our thoughts have power. OUR POSITIVE THOUGHTS CREATE BRIGHT DESTINY FOR US